By Janelle Graustein
It has been an honor and a privilege to have helped several couples plan their dream weddings at their favorite exotic location away from home. From Jamaica to Tahiti, I’ve often sat while planning a couple’s “weddingmoon” package and day dreamed of the day when I would be the lucky bride planning their big day somewhere fascinating and breathtaking.
Planning a destination wedding can be quite daunting, especially since you most likely will not be able to personally meet your vendors prior to the big day. You’ll just get to see examples of their work provided to you by your assigned wedding coordinator. In fact, you may have never even step foot onto the property that you chose to host your big day! So, it’s extremely important that you have an experienced travel agent, especially one that is extremely familiar with your chosen destination, to help guide you and your guests through the process of planning and booking the travel segments for your dream destination wedding. But, what if it’s the travel agent that is getting married? I have recently found myself the lucky recipient of a gorgeous diamond ring and the best fiance a girl could ever ask for. Upon the surprise proposal, we immediately decided that our special day would be spent somewhere different- somewhere that had nothing to do with where we grew up, have previously lived, or where we currently reside. So, I now face the prospect of planning my own destination wedding and wanted to share with everyone my own personal experience of going through the various planning stages!
STEP ONE: Traditional Wedding versus Destination Wedding?
Every couple faces this question following the proposal, but many choose to have a traditional wedding in their home town or where they currently reside. It makes sense- you want to have as many meaningful people present as possible and you want the place where you get married to be tied in some way to your life, whether current or past. For some, it’s just matter of cultural or religious beliefs that guide them to go the more traditional route. For us, it was simply the fact that both of us have had large, ornate, traditional weddings in our first marriages. While I can only speak for myself and say that my first wedding was planned just the way I had envisioned it, it really ended up being about everyone else and not about me or the actual marriage. So, as with every couple, you need to decide what type of wedding is right for you as a couple, and for us, it was easy- something non-traditional, exotic, and hopefully much more simple. At this point, you should also determine whether or not you plan on inviting guests to your nuptials or not. That will play an important role in the next two steps. We’re opting to go at it alone, at least for right now.
STEP TWO: Establish a budget
Even though having a destination wedding is often much less expensive than having a traditional wedding, it’s not always the case. The destination and how much assistance you provide to your guests (if you are inviting guests), will play a huge factor in how much your big day will end up costing. So, sit down and look over your finances. Be realistic and don’t feel as if you have to go into debt, because you certainly do not have to do that! Establish how much you think you can feasibly spend on your part of the wedding. In some cases, it’s just the travel costs- airfare, hotel, food, etc., since some hotels offer free wedding packages. Then, if you have chosen to share your big day with your loved ones, try to establish a reasonable budget for what you think they will need to spend during their stay to attend your wedding. Keep in mind, the bride and groom typically stay longer than their guests, so don’t assume your cost will be the same as the guests’ cost. Budget is a very personal thing and everyone has a different idea of what their limit is, but for us, we know going in what is feasible and what is just not going to fly.
STEP THREE: Which comes first? Choosing the date or the destination?
I’ll admit, I haven’t gotten there yet. We’re struggling with choosing the destination. However, for some couples, the date may very well be the most important aspect if you want to get married on a date that is significant to you as a couple. So, there really isn’t a right or wrong answer to the big question. My advice is that if the date is more important than the destination, choose your date, then contact a travel agent to discuss which destinations will best suit your needs, wants, budget, and chosen date. You certainly do not want to get married in Asia during monsoon season. However, a big caveat- try to have your destination choices narrowed down a bit before contacting the agent. With the whole world to choose from, it will be hard for an agent to help you choose the right place if he/she doesn’t have some examples to go on. I know that I work hard trying to figure out the personalities and tastes of my client based on past travel experiences and resorts that have caught their eye.
If the destination is more important, do some research on some possible destinations, and then contact a travel agent. Give the agent the information you have found thus far, your budget, and ask them when the best time to travel to your preferred destinations are given your budget and other needs. Then, discuss with your significant other what destination and date combination works best for you and communicate that to your travel agent. Whatever you decide is most important, once you have made your decisions on date and destination, the travel agent can then help you with resort recommendations and pricing.
As I mentioned above, we’re having a tough time choosing a destination, and therefore, we don’t have a date set either! We happen to be a couple who prefers to place destination over date and want to make sure that the destination best reflects our personalities and captures the way we feel about each other and our future together. I also have to mention that we’re total workaholics, so we really want a nice break from reality as well!
Update on 12/31/10: As the New Year approaches, we’ve now been engaged for almost two months, and still no date or destination has been chosen. Why you ask? I have an amazing set of destinations and resorts to choose from! I’m quite lucky and blessed, and because of that, we’re starting off the New Year happy to just be together. I will say that we’ve narrowed it down a little-maybe- to either Mauritius, Fiji, Tahiti, or Malayasia. If it’s Mauritius, we’re looking at a September 2011 ceremony during our already-booked “bucket list” Indian Ocean vacation. I’m anxiously awaiting a response from the yet-to-be opened St. Regis Mauritius to see if they will draft a proposal. If that falls through, we’re very interested in a early Winter 2012 ceremony in Fiji or Malaysia with a honeymoon immediately following in the outer islands of the Philippines and Palau. In Fiji, Laucala Island, Likuliku Resort, Vatulele, Yasawa Island, and Matangi Island have all caught my eye. In Malaysia, I’m keen on The Andaman in Langkawi as the chosen spot. I am drawn to its isolation. Of course, Tahiti is always in the mix because I usually visit there every year and how could you not just love it there? Ah, decisions, decisions!
I’ve been engaged now for a about two and a half months (it’s now 1/20/11), and I think we’ve changed our minds a few times as to where and when our wedding will take place. We always thought the destination was most imporant to us, but then we realized, it’s really a combination of both the destination AND the date! So, we’ve decided (at least for now), that we’ll marry on a special date in the late Fall of 2012 and we’ll find the perfect destination out of those mentioned just above. I’ll announce the destination once we have it all figured out. After all, I have almost two years to make it work!
STEP FOUR: Finalizing the travel package
As I mentioned above, once you have narrowed down your destination and your date, you will need to work with your travel agent to find your ideal destination wedding resort. You may not actually marry on the resort property, but you will need to find a place for you and your guests (again, if you are inviting any) to stay during your event. The travel agent will most likely recommend a few different resorts that fit your tastes, needs, and budget, so it’s wise to take time to go through those recommendations and see which resorts stand out the most to you. You want to make sure you have a good feeling about a place when you look at the picutres and read reviews online. Once you have taken the recommendations and narrowed them down to 1-3 resorts, have the agent provide you pricing for your choices. If you qualify for group pricing (10+ rooms), the pricing process will be a bit more complicated and will take longer as rates need to be negotiated with the properties. If group air is to be included, contracts will also have to be negotiated with an airline. Your package may also include some customizations for your wedding, such as a private island dinner reception or private transfers for your guests, so all of that has to be taken into account during the negotiations. If your wedding group is just you, the lucky couple, or fewer than 10 rooms, the pricing process will be a little less complicated and time consuming and some of the additional customization of the wedding will take place directly with the resort’s wedding coordinator. A lot depends on the destination chosen, but expect South Pacific or Asian destination weddings to be far more complex to piece together than Caribbean or Mexican destination weddings.
After pricing is complete, review all of the quotes with the travel agent. Be sure to ask any and all questions that you may have before making your final decision. Once your final decision has been made, the travel agent will require a deposit to secure both land and air space. The amount of the deposit will vary drastically depending on the type of the booking (group versus individual), the destination, and if insurance is being purchased, but all of the details of what is included in the package, when all payments are due for both you and your guests, and the terms and conditions of the booking will be laid out in the package confirmation. The travel agent may also provide cards or a flyer that can be submitted to your guests with all of this same information, so it is easily dispersed in a timely fashion. You can also choose to broadcast the booking deadlines and package information as you see fit, just as long as it mirrors the guidelines provided by the travel agent. Payment and booking deadlines are set in stone and are usually non-negotiable, so the guests need to be well aware of those dates if they want to ensure their place at your wedding!
When I finally choose a wedding location (as of 1/13/11, I still have not gotten there), finalizing my package will be fairly simple compared to most other destination weddings. Since I’m the travel agent, I have a lot of information and pricing at my disposal all of the time, so I know what fits into my budget or what is in season before I even start looking at options. I’m also making a lot of observations as I work with other couples and see how their packages turn out. Plus, I’m not having any guests at my event, so that simplifies the process just that much more. I only have to worry about two people instead of twelve or twenty. So, I guess I’ll continue down the path of procrastination and one of these days the perfect place will just come to me!
STEP FIVE: Invitations and Travel Information
Again, this is something not pertinent to my destination wedding, but it will be crucial to the success of yours if you want people to attend! Now that you have your date set and your destination wedding resort booked, you can send out the invitations and travel information to your guests. You may have already sent some initial information to them to give a heads up to those needing to block of f vacation time or to save up that well earned bonus from work to pay for the trip, but you now have the specifics in hand. You will want to get your invitations out well ahead of what a traditional wedding timeline suggests, as you have booking deadlines to meet with your travel agent and it takes a lot of preparation to travel, especially to an international destination.
There is a good chance that your travel agent gave you invitation enclosures, a printable flyer, or an e-flyer that includes all of the details of the destination wedding pacakge for your guests. If they did not, or you prefer to have one made to match your invitiations, it’s essential to be thorough and include all pertinent information. Work with your agent to include the specifics. The travel information provided with the invitiations should also include the resort name, expected pricing, what the pricing includes, and all deposit and booking instructions. While you may end up taking care of a portion, or all of, the arrangements for close family members, the majority of your guests will be contacting your travel agent on their own time. Be sure the agent’s contact information is clearly outlined and that your guests fully understand that they need to contact the agent by a certain date to obtain the special wedding rate. It’s always best to not wait until the last minute to contact the travel agent so that he or she has plenty of time to answer any questions and process everyone’s request before the deadline. If you are having a wedding outside of your home country, make sure that all of your guests know that they will require a passport and to apply for one immediately if they do not already have one.
Obtaining a passport can take up to a month, or more, depending on the current demand. If they do have one, encourage them to check the expiration date and make sure they have at least 6 months validity left on their passport following their return from your wedding. Also, remind them that each country has different entry requirements, so it’s always best to check with your travel agent on the requirements and possibly include them with the travel information. For example, it’s well advised to have two blank pages in your passport before entering South Africa otherwise you may be turned away at the point of entry.
STEP SIX: Planning the Details from Afar
Check back for more as I continue on my journey to plan an amazing destination wedding!!
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